On this day I hope all who hold it in such high regard have the exact experience that they are looking forward too. I’m feelin good. True Grit is in theater’s looks like it’s gonna be pretty good. New Range Rover commercial looks fruitfully, financially, festive and the Chicago Bears are going to smack tha shit outta tha Jet’s tomorrow (sorry Craig, O).

My little one’s are out of town so I’ve got some time to reflect before I head in to work. Yes, I’m going to work. Some people are looking for work so no tears here. There is a thought that brings a small tear to my eye although it isn’t a tear of sadness. It’s a droplet of pity for the Camry/Civic/Acura lady.

Let me explain-A couple of months ago I was traveling south on Westwood Blvd. Sitting in the LEFT turn lane BEHIND at least two other cars waiting for the arrow to turn green. On my right, waiting for her light to change as well so she could continue traveling south- was the Camry/Civic/Acura lady. I have named her the Camry/Civic/Acura lady because I can’t remember which of these automobiles she was driving. In any event as we are both waiting I do one of those casual look over’s for no other reason than we are both sitting there and I’ve already lit my cigarette, changed my cd and checked my rear view mirror. It could not have been more than a millisecond that I looked her way-tops.

What happened next was amazing. This woman met my eye for that millisecond and decided crime was on the horizon. She rolled up the remainder of her halfway open window while simultaneously locking her doors. Here is where the tears of pity come in….Let’s explore the thought process of this woman for a second.

First of all let us not forget the physical setting I told you about. Traffic in front and behind both of us. Stopped at a red light. On one of the busiest interesections in the city. Westwood and Pico Blvd. Store that.

Now this lady, who’s car is so non-memorable that I have given it three possible model names believes one or all of a couple of things:

A) That I value her car more than my own.

B) That I value her car’s contents  more than my own.

C) That I’m driving around at 2 in the afternoon just waiting to get my chance to commit crime. Particularly, at stop lights.

D) That I am a criminal black superhero.

A) In this scenario, I am so overcome with desire for her Camry/Civic/Acura that I hop out of MY OWN FUCKING CAR and jack her for hers. Not a very good plan on my part because remember there are stopped cars to the front, back, right left of her since my own car is now stranded on the left of her with no driver.

B) In this scenario I hop out of my car-approach hers do some very well lit, conspicuous, car content jacking and then go back and sit in my car surrounded by others waiting for the light to change…hmmm again I’m no criminal mastermind but even I can see this  may not the best plan.

C) See C above.

D) Now this may be the one. I love comic books and I know that in said books people walking amongst us are capable of some amazing feats of strength, speed, power, etc…this is the only partially, minutely plausible, scenario that she could have really been thinking was about to take place. Somehow I was going to commit the act’s of A, B and C and then either turn my car into a fucking hovercraft getaway mobile or pull out my cape and fly away (which by the way, if I were able to fly would I really need anything that could possibly be in her car? just a thought). Or, she simply believed that the person to her left fairly navigating traffic well enough to reach this destination and operate a couple of tons of motorized steel with wheels attached to it-has decided that she is worth jacking and then driving forward into a stopped car-reversing into a stopped car-turning right and crashing into her or turning left before reaching the intersection and crashing into oncoming traffic only to be arrested and possibly injured in the crash for the life changing opportunity of possessing her gum stuck $7 dollars and  35 cents from her center console.

Dear Camry/Civic/Acura lady..turn Fox news off. I’m in my car at the light. I’m thinking about my trip to Kentucky later this year, I’m thinking about maybe moving to a different house, I’m thinking about work, my kids, my brother, this new chick I wanna see. I’m thinking about going to see Wu-Tang sunday night but I work at 4am Monday Morning. I’m thinking about Mike Downs in New York is he o.k.? I’m thinking about writing a treatment for a video that I see in my mind. I’m thinking about Trader Joe’s smoked gouda cheese-that shit is delicious-and I live close to Trader Joe’s. I’m thinking about not being able to go to yet another one of Bryces basketball games due to work. I’m thinking this TooL album I’m listening to in the car sounds as good as I remember…..

I’m not thinking about you hoe.

Peace,

Tha Veteran